Flashbacks

In 2002 I had my heart broken for the first time, left the nest of college and threw my whole being into becoming Cindy Sherman. It was all so just, so perfect for a yarn. It was at this time I met a friend, who is still a close friend, who introduced me to LiveJournal. I've never wanted to share so much with so many strangers before, but 3 posts in and random people began to comment with such inspiring responses, I was addicted. If I was not going to do anything more with my life than go from cafe to bar and bar to cafe, LiveJournal was the perfect location for a lazy 20-something year old.

Nearly 10 years later, I recently began receiving new comments to old LJ posts from 2006, 2005 from Russian advertisers selling sex and pills. What came back to me in a flood of warm memories and a flush of embarrassed cheeks were the posts and photos that followed. Was I ever so angry? So full of myself? So sure it was the world's fault and not mine? Sigh, yes I was. I'm 34 now and reading back on those posts and digging deeper into the times in my history that were dangerous, stupid and exciting. I am reading my reactions, my general rhetoric of shit spewed in order to protect my heart, my mind and my soft little soul. I was a bad ass with nothing to back it.

What has become most important in this exercise is the overwhelming relief, comfort and joy I have had reading these old posts. It is rare to get much back from your past, and I am finding being reintroduced to myself at the ages of 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28 and 29 to be filling. I almost want to gulp it all down, hold bits of history in my mouth and try to identify all the unknown ingredients and seek answers in questions I still don't have.

I would like to continue this journaling, this writing again. Perhaps I will, here, in this one place. Will I be so excited in another 10 years? I hope so.

Signing off, this 34 year old married woman.

Conservation

Recently, I just purchased this book, Planting the Future: Saving Our Medicinal Herbs by Rosemary Gladstar & Pamela Hirsch. I am still waiting for it to be delivered. It encompasses general herbal knowledge on plant uses, climate, regions and history. But what I am really looking forward to reading is about the conservation information. There are major sections on endangered plants and ways in which we can begin working toward saving our indigenous herbs. I really can’t wait to start reading it.

Almost a year ago, before I even began to think that I could actually grow my own medicinal herbs, I had read an article in Indian Country, Saving Medicinal Herbs: NM experts hope to Cultivate Southwest herb The herb, yerba mansa a.k.a. yerba del manso, lizard tail and swamp root, which grows primarily in New Mexico and parts of Arizona near riverbanks and wetlands is on the list of endangered plant species. It has been used by the local Indian tribes for hundreds of years because of its’ anti-bacterial and antimicrobial properties. It took me a second and a short Google trip to see a picture of this herb and when I did, I realized that as a kid we used to pick this flower all the time. It had a sweet musky scent and beautiful white petals that always made the house look and smell great. I don’t believe we ever used it for any medicinal reasons, instead we tended to rely on western medicines for our answers. Anyhow, I remember reading the article and feeling a great wave of regret and sadness about this little plant. I regretted that it had never crossed my mind to consider that the little white flower was more then just a pretty addition to our house. That while growing up in New Mexico, running across the plant was common enough that we were none the wiser. And I was saddened that our traditional knowledge of Navajo healings had been lost or misplaced along the way. Knowing that this plant could be gone within my lifetime has definitely forced me to come to terms with what exactly it is that I want to be doing with my life. As I struggle often with my artistic endeavors and great desire for success, I have begun asking myself what is really important? I don't have the full answer yet but having finally begun taking those strange steps backwards to a place of being that is stuffed very deep in my psyche, I can at least hope to bridge my own gap for personal, historical and cultural conservation. Because sometimes, trying to live that American dream all the time can really just set you off onto chasing your own tail.

Nerds? Dirt? In Chicago!

A few things to know about this blog:

I am a Navajo woman who was raised on the Rez in Arizona who left home to travel the world, only to end up in middle-America wanting to learn how to live exactly the way my people have been living for hundreds of years, 20/20. Better late then never, et al, and this blog will be the keeper of all my failures and successes this summer.

I live with my boyfriend and two cats, Fatty & Fuzz, in the greatest city in the country, Chicago! This is my first summer growing vegetables and learning how to keep a bee hive. My boyfriend, B, will be showing me how to keep a garden, a farm and a beehive. We will be growing some food in our 2nd floor apartment in containers and the rest on a small plot of land 45 minutes outside of the city. On my own I will be learning how to grow and use medicinal herbs from making simple teas and tinctures to poultice rubs.


The Regulars:
“B” – The organic farming, yoga teaching, bee hive master, friend, teacher, collaborator and partner in all crimes, unless caught. He did it.
The “Nerds” - a.k.a Internet/Interweb/World Wide Web
Tattays - Our fat cats who amuse us daily.
Fatty – Grey, Black & White Cat who is the one that causes the most ruckus! Loves: Wu-Tang, cheese, seaweed, plastic bags & sitting at the kitchen table.
Fuzz – Black Tom Cat that is the sweetest lover in the world, but can take down Fatty in a heartbeat if he gets out of hand. Loves: Os Mutantes, gentle rub downs, bonito flakes & Vitamin E oil.